18 LYRICS FROM: FUNNY CHRISTIAN POP SONG PARODIES



by Troy

Y.H.V.H. (Parody of Village People's YMCA)

Yahweh
That's the name you can say
Yahweh
Say His Name when you pray
Yahweh
Such a Beautiful Name
Come on everybody say it
(Shout it out loud)

It's fun to praise His Name
Y____H-V-H!
It's fun to praise His Name
Y____H-V-H!
Yah made everything
for you to enjoy
(So) You make a joyful noise
(come on and make some noise)

E | c#- | A (chorus f#-) | B |
OR, for a higher and more energetic key:
G | e- | C (chorus a-) | D |

SPANISH:
Y Griega Hache V Hache

es un nombre bonito


Walk HIS Way (Parody Of Aerosmith, Walk This Way)

Preacher smothered me
with church boy blubber
til I talked to a man who prayed
He said you ain't seen nothin'
'til ya get JAH's lovin'
then you're sure to be changin' your ways

He was a cheerleader (real leader, praise leader)
A disciple breeder
Ah the times I could reminisce
Sisters and Brothers, dancing and lovin'
and it started with a little twist
like this
(dance/ riff)

VERSE 2: See-saw swingin' in the Sunday School
Kids feet flyin' up in the air
Singin' Aleluia
Let the Spirit move ya
'til you swing like you didn't care

So we took a big chance
Filled the church with dance
But the preacher wasn't ready to (but church lady wouldn't) play
But to me he/she was foolin'
He/she knew what we was doin'
(The Spirit was here to stay) / YAH told me how to walk this way (The Spirit told me what to say)
He told me to

||||: Walk HIS Way [praise this way]
Talk HIS Way :||||

(Just do it like this!) (Gimme a holy kiss!)
Guitar solo break
||||: Give Him some! (optional) :||||

[guitar riff]

Preacher screechin' at the praise cheerleader
With her skirt climbin' way up her knees
Just like (Like king) David dancin' in his panties
With his church wife lookin' displeased

I Was a rock-n-roller,
Never thought of bein' holy
'Til the Word/Spirit told me something I missed (called me out onstage)

Crank yo' amplifier
Raise the praises higher
Let the Spirit give you a kiss (show the whole world how to praise / pray)
Like this

[guitar riff]

Verse 2 repeats

||||: Walk HIS Way
Talk HIS Way :||||

Guitar solo over verse

Guitar solo over riff

out


I Never Wanna Sin Again (Parody of I'll Never Fall In Love Again)

What do you get when you fall in sin?
A devil with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble
||: I___ never wanna sin again :||

What do you get when you bed a girl
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
Then the village elders stone ya
[And if you give sperm it just may/might clone ya]
||: I___ never wanna sin again :||

Don't tell me what it's all about
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you sell your heart
You get it all broken up and battered
That's what you get, a heart that's shattered
||: I___ never wanna sin again :||

Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you fall in sin?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So at least until tomorrow
||||: I___ never wanna sin again :||||



Grandma Got Struck By A Bolt Of Lightning

(This is a parody of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer)

Grandma Got Struck By A Bolt Of Lightning
To stop her fornicatin' and blasphemy
You can say there's no such being as Jesus / [Yahweh)
But as for me and Grandpa we believe

We told Gram's to do some swimming
At the local spa and gym
There she spied her Sugar-Daddy
So she [ran] took off and hit the sack [town] / danced all night with him

Grandma got a fancy lawyer
To buy a state divorce decree
The judge said it was fair / [right] and legal
But [the voltage showed/proves] that Jesus disagrees

Yeah, she didn't like Gramps' gripin'
And his big medical / insurance / hospital bills
So she shacked up with that rich guy
Who bought her stuff/junk to give her granny thrills

His waterbed waved shlishy shloshy
Her legs [toes/feet] swingin in the air
But when she walked out of his mansion
The sky flashed and she didn't have a prayer


Satisfaction (Parody Of The Rolling Stones' Satisfaction)

I didn't get no
satisfaction
You can't get no
satisfaction
till you get Christ
And Get his New Life
You know da's right!

And you're driving down the road
and your kissing this
and you're doing that

You can't get no
satisfaction
from the world

You can't get no
satisfaction
though you try, and you try and you try and you try
you can't get no
you can't get no
satisfaction
until you meet christ

I didn't get no
satisfaction
I didn't get Holy
Spirit action
though I tried
and I tried & I tried & I tried
I didn't get no satisfaction
from my old life
Til I found Christ
and got His New Life

hey hey hey
that's what I say

Aleluia




Christian U.S.A. (Parody of Surfin' U.S.A. (Beach Boys))

If everybody read their Bible
Across the U.S.A.
And everybody started walkin'
(On the) That Narrow Way
If everybody was doin'
everything the Bible says
Then everybody'd be Christian
(Then this Nation would be Christian)
A Christian U.S.A.

If they didn't kill Muslims
to steal their oil away
If everybody read their bibles
and did the things they say
(Then this Nation would be Christian)
A Christian U.S.A.

Yeah they murdered the natives
to take their land away
yeah they kidnapped the africans
to make em die as slaves

They claimed these sins were A-OK
'cause they were ‘saved by grace’
Yeah that's no way to be a Christian
a Christian U.S.A.

If we hadn't killed a million
Iraqi children
If we hadn't bombed Cambodia
into the stone age
If no bomb hit Hiroshima
and Nagasaki too
Then this would maybe be a Christian
A Christian USA

If the leaders didn't borrow
money they couldn't pay

And if everybody rested
on the Sabbath Day

pray
Yahweh
say
If the Christians put some action behind the things they say


I Just Got Saved (Parody Of Akon, I Just Had Sex)

Sometimes somethin' beautiful happens
In this world
You don't know how to express yourself
So you just gotta sing

I just got saved and it feels so good
(Feels so good)
My savior said If I follow him I can go to heaven
I just got saved and I'll never go back
(Never go back)
To my not-being-saved ways of the past

Have you ever got saved?
I have, it feels great
It felt so good when He saved me by His Spirit
Yahweh really did it, it literally just happened
Gettin Saved can make a nice man out the meanest

Never guess where I just came from, I got saved
If I had to describe the feeling, it was the best
When I got the Lord, man, my Spirit felt great
And I called my parents right after I got saved

Oh, hey, didn't see you there, guess what I just did?
Got saved and repented, dropped to my knees and the rest
Was sure nice of God to let me do that thing
Nice for anyone ever, now sing

I just got saved and it feels so good
(Feels so good)
My Savior wrote my name in the book of life
I want to tell the world

To be honest, I'm surprised He even wanted me to do it
Doesn't even really make sense, 'cause, man, I blew it
I ain't one to argue with a good thing, Now I need a saved wife
That good? The best conversion of my life

I'm so humbled by a God's ability to be my savior
'Cause honestly, my life's been a pile of manure
With that in mind, a soft, nice-smellin' Leather bible
Plus he let me be a king and a priest in heaven (original was)Plus, she let me wear my chain and my turtle-neck sweater

So this one's dedicated to the God
Who let us flop around in so much sin
People near or far, whether short or tall
(say) We want to thank you God for letting us love you

I kept droppin to my knees
(Doesn't matter, got saved)
But I cried the whole time
(Doesn't matter, got saved)
I think I might've been a racist
(Doesn't matter, got saved)
I had long hair on my head
(Still counts)

I just got saved and my dreams came true
(Dreams came true)
So if you got saved in the last thirty minutes
Then you're qualified to sing with me

I just got saved
(Everybody sing)
And it feels so good
(We all got saved)
(Felt so good)
I went and let Him put His Spirit inside of me
(I want to tell the world)
I just got saved and I'll never go back
(No, no, no)
To the not-being saved ways of the past


Jesus (Parody of People Who Need People)

Jesus
People who need (love) Jesus
Are the lovingest people in the world

A feeling deep in your soul
says you were half; now you're whole
No more hunger and thirst
But first be a person who loves Jesus


Friends Are Friends For Money (Parody Of 'Friends Are Friends Forever')

Friends are friends for money
'cause it's the lord of them
And your friend will not say never
if your payments never end

Yeah it's hard to come to know
that they love you for your dough
if your finances are strong
they'll act like friends (then you'll have 'friends')



sing us a song, you're the holy man (Parody Of Billy Joel's Piano Man)

Sing us a song, you're the prophet man
sing us a song tonight
Cause we're all in the mood for a melody
And you' got us feel in' alright


I'm So Excited

I'm so excited
And I just can't hide it
I'm surrendering control
And I think I like it


Dancing For Yahweh (Parody Of Dancing In The Street)

It's an invitation across the nations
There'll be singing swaying records playing
dancing for Yahweh
it doesn't matter what you wear
just as long as you are there
come on every guy every girl
everyone around the earth
back in the ussr, don't matter where you are
Dancing for Yahweh (dancing in the street) (Dancing singing praise)


Spiritual Girl (Parody Of Madonna's Material Girl)

Cause we are living
in a material world
But I am a spiritual girl

I'm in the world, but I'm not of it


I Fought God's Law (Parody of 'I Fought The Law')

Worked 7 days never taking a sabbath
I fought the Law and the Law won
Til my body broke down and my marriage wore out
I fought the Law and the Law won

I ate that bacon and sausage and shrimp
I fought the law and the Law won
My colon clogged and now I walk like a gimp
I fought the Law and the Law won

Ignored my Bible and I feel so bad
I guess my race is won
The Bible's the best wisdom front to back
I fought the Law and the Law won
I fought the Law and the Law won


Help Me Jesus, Help Help Me Jesus (Parody Of Help Me Rhonda)

Help Me Jesus,
Help Help Me Jesus

Help me Jesus
Get sin out of my heart


You Don’t Mess Around With Sin (Parody of Jim Croce's You Don't Mess Around With Jim)

INCOMPLETE LYRIC:
The uptown got its hustlers
The bowery got its bums
42nd street got big Jim walker
he's a cold-shooting son of a gun

Yeah he big and dumb as a man can come
but he's stronger than a country hog
So when the bad folks get together at night
you know they all call big Jim boss
Just because

And they all say
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull a mask off that old lone ranger
and you don't mess around with sin

(scat)

When outta South Alabama come a country boy
lookin for a man name' Jim
I am a pool-shootin' boy name a' Willie McCoy
But down home they call me Slim



but I come to get my money back

(scat)

When a hush fell over the pool-room…

the only part that wasn't bloody was the soles of the big man's feet

yeah he was cut in a hundred places
And he was shot in a couple mo'
...


Jehovah Rock Anthem (Parody Of Party Rock Anthem)

Praise Rock!

(Jehovah's) Jesus Christ is in the house tonight
Everybody just have a good time
Jesus gonna make/help you find your mind
Holy Spirit Gonna Make it All right

Clap!
oh!
I can feel it tonight!
yeah!

We just wanna see you
shake that (sin)

Every day I'm praisin' Him

Get up;
put sin down
put your hands up to the sound

A-le
lu YAH
________
SPANISH:
Jehova esta en casa si


Messiah on High (Parody of American Pie)

And we were singin
Bye bye
My Messiah on high
Drove to calv'ry
but the spear was drainin' Jesus' blood dry
Those soldier boys were castin lots for his robe (clothes/attire)
sining this'll be the day Jesus dies


18 LYRICS FROM: FUNNY CHRISTIAN POP SONG PARODIES